Anything to Keep Me Breathing

Sold My Soul for a One Night Stand

2005-09-26T18:21:00.000-04:00

WHOA BUDDY. it's been a while. :DDD

i totalli lyke ditched this 4 lyke anuther jurnal cuz dis 1 wuz lyke sooo yesterday.

no, but seriously, i just wanted to check up on my past-spasticness. and now that i have, i think i am going to go. be back in 123982 months!

<3

Smeared Black Ink

2005-04-19T22:20:00.000-04:00

THINK FAST

by: moi.

Significance is meaningless, especially if you're deaf.
Pay no attention to what you hear, but what it is you see.
Stroll through untimely woods, and never falter, never break.
Skip through the earth and find the light, and bring it back into your eyes.
Forgive for what you have lost and praise what you have gained.
Sing not because you hit perfect notes, but rather just because you can.
Run as fast as your legs will carry you before you crash.
Hold your head high and show repentance, never fake a smile.
Consume time before it has it's way and swallows you whole first.
Think slow while the world spins fast,
Think fast while time seems slow.
Take in everything you see, for eyes cannot deceive.
For only if you pass a judgement that there's no reprieve.

[ i have the strangest mind ] ]

I'm Choking on Nothing

2005-04-13T22:18:00.000-04:00

bitch yo i gots me some bling bling to the zing zing FO SHIZZAAAYY.

i'm so ghetto i make the black kids look white.
OHHHH BURN IN YO FACE!

i watched american idol tonight. and nadia turner was sliced and diced.
Bbbbiiiitcccchh.
i didn't want her to get cut though. but better her than bo bice.

i'm going to type with my elbow.

yZA nhdedzasfrfrfrdc? i bde bzabn vgbft bbitfn

guess what i tried to say?
ya heard? i be bangin' bitch.
hahaahhahahahahhsdfjkahdfjkahg jkserh gfuisry4 /

too bad your breath smells like you look.
ya heard that old pops?
your breath = shizzzzzowww.

YO. i'M GHETTO BiTCH.

2005-04-12T19:41:00.000-04:00

a circle is round, it has no end. that's how long you'll be my friend!

unless you look like dez of course.

lalalalalalalalala POINTLESS POST!
omg but GUESS WHAT?
everyone's online journal posts are pointless.
it's allllll pointless!

because we live to die.

omg jesus effing cristo wtf?!111!?!?!?1!!!! 1111!!

yEaH tHaT's rItE cUz i'ma eFFiNg BiTCH WHo CaN'T tyPe rItE

yaaa hearrrd?

iN THE DARK OF THE NiGHT EViL WiLL FiND HER!
don't you just HATE iT when people do that?

YEAH i HATE YOUR FACE.

FLAMiNGO iNGO BiNGO SiNGO iDiOT iF FiGHT TiGHT

HHHHHHHHHHHiiiiii

Hi, Bi.

I Feel I Must Interject Here

2005-04-10T21:24:00.000-04:00

I totallyyyyyyyyy loveee youuuuuuu
okay, not really.
wow, i have nothing to say, so why am i here? i don't know. do we ever really know where we are?

GOSH I'M NOT AN ALIEN I'M JUST DISCONTENT SO LEAVE ME ALONE CUZ I'M SO DEPRESSED AND ON A YELLOW BRICK QUEST FOR A BRAIN!

www.gizoogle.com

OMG WTF GET AN EFFING EYEDOG WTF OMG I LOVE YOU NOW YOU SO SEXY MM SLURP OMG I PAINT MY EYES EFFING SHUT AND NOW IM WEARING PRETTY PURPLE DRESSES WITH EFFING UGLY FLOWERS ON THEM!

CHYEAH WELL THESE ARE ESTEE LAUDER LIPS AND THEY TOOK ME 72 MINUTES TO APPLY SO DONT KISS ME YOUR LIPS ARE UNWORTHY OF TOUCHING ME OMG WHAT NOW IM NOT WEARING ANY HAIRSPRAY AND IM WEARING GLASSES WHAT IM NOT AN ALIEN IM INCOGNITO AND I DONT LIKE YOUR MR FOOTBALL PLAYER I LIKE NERDY BOY OVER THERE OMGGGGGG ALIENNNNNNNNN!!!

OMG WTF I'LL HIT YOU UP WITH SOME DRUGS MY BROTHA LETS GET OUR STONER ON OMG WTF ALIEN IF SOMEONE COMES IN HOLD ON AND PRETEND WE'RE MAKING OUT OMG IS SHE ALWAYS THIS MUCH FUN MAN!!!!! RAAAWWRR IM A BADASS LOOK AT ME NOW IM PLAYING FOOTBALL AND YEAH IM COOL! GUARANTEED TO JACK YOU UP SLUT.

OMG THEY SO RAN ME INTO A POLE AGAIN IM SUCH A LONER NO ONE UNDERSTANDS I WISH DELILAH WOULD LOOK AT ME BECAUSE IM A PEEPING TOM AND HAVE STALKER PICTURES OF HER ON MY WALL AND OMG IM TOTALLY SMART AND NOW IM WITH DELILIAH BECAUSE SHE WANTS MY FAME! MAUAHA!

whoa. that was totally...random.
but it was hella fun.
YAYYYY!

Repair this Broken Heart

2005-04-04T20:51:00.000-04:00

wow. it's been quite sometime since i've crossed paths with this blogger. i felt i should update, though, just because i can and i like updates.
i like xanga betterer. but this is still fun.
if i spent this whole post updating on my life from the last time i posted i think i would be here for quite some time.
that would be rather pathetic. so i will babble instead.
guaranteed to jack you up.
YEAH THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHTT!!
dude, i totally love that movie. with all of my heart. i think it is the best and there shall never be another before it! except maybe garden state. which i totally reccomend.
it's 9.00 pee emm.
it's time to go.
LATER.

ARI.

Wouldn't That Be Something?

2004-12-07T14:54:00.000-05:00

Dude. It's been practically a month since i've written in this. my xanga is awesomer. and all the blog people moved to xanga after moi. so yeah. it's just the way the boat floats. im just updating because i have nothing better to do.

i lOooOoooOve a piano...a grand piano!

so. i dont even know what to write in here anymore because it's all in my x to the anga. sorryy.

i think it is time to part with this bloggie forever.

HARRY POTTER IS SEXY.

later...much.

-ari

Money...I mean Love..Makes the World Go Round

2004-11-10T15:09:00.000-05:00

I don't write in here. I ditched this for xanga. Woops. My xanga's all purty now so I like to write in it more. Sorry, dearest blogger, I have replaced you.

I want to make a list of things I love.

I love...
Lamby
The Cat in the Hat
Jack Black
Blue Powerade
Hoodies..
Making fun of Kaitlin
Being Ghettolicious
Writing
Pretending I can sing really well
Colors
being a superhero
Dropping it like it's hot
The Hot Chick
Dashboard Confessional
Depressing Songs
Beltzz lyke omg
slurpees
dum dums
Degrassi
Radio Free Roscoe
Nathan Stephenson
Funny people
School of Rock
Kevin Clark
Caitlin Hale...she is the cutest! haha.
Buttons
Making things
Pictures
Cameras
Pretending I'm Harry Potter
Reading
Writing Fanfictionn
YOU!

haha that was fun.

Drop it Like It's Hawwwtt!

2004-11-02T19:44:00.000-05:00

Dude. That song is like, the funniest song in the world. Me and Chelsea are superheros and that's our theme song! We'll be out saving the world in our tights and capes and you'll hear 'drop it like it's haaawwwt! pop it like it's haaawwt!' behind us as we're flying in the sky. SUPER HAWTIES! haha. I'm KNOWEVERYTHING GIRL! and she's, STATESTHE OBVIOUS GIRL...yeah. I think that's her name. And...her superherohawtie husband is John (john john john john) and mine is the guy from good burger (burger burger burger). We are cool.

Election day is today. All you old fools better have voted! :)

I was harrassing Dez's friends today. 'doin' it straight up wigga style, yo!' 'i i wanna be ghetto!' lmao. Weeee. That was my entertainment of today.

Dude, anyone who has my link to fanfiction, go read my one-shots. I am sooo proud of them. Haha that sounds arrogant. But, no, I am. They're better than my shitful stories.

I feel funny. My face itches cause I've been sneezing.

I am not a freak. Don't call me one.

I cleaned my room today!! Wow that's a huge accomplishment! weeee.

I am bored. and tired and i need to watch School of Rock.

Oh dude the hot chick is the best movieee!!
EVERYONE GO RENT IT!!

-ARI!

Within Time

2004-11-01T19:24:00.000-05:00

It takes a bad thing to happen, to make you appreciate what you have and what means most to you. Suffering, pain, heartache, and helplessness, and other people's mistakes come with light at the end of the tunnel. Someone always gets hurt, and the scars may always be there to remind you, and the guilt and memories may always replay in the back of your mind, but you always learn to forget, you learn to move on and you learn to love again. And it may take a while, it may take years of hatred and years of pain, but somehow you can get through it. If you try. And so many things can drag you down and make your heart hate, but you can't let it stop you. Because if you do, you're just going to let it consume you. And if you do, you're not going to have much of life.

I hope I'm making sense, because it's so hard to put into words. Just be strong, and things will play out eventually.

Ring Around the Fucking Rosie.

2004-10-31T15:10:00.000-05:00

I wish all you assholes in my life would just stop trying to bring me down. Because none of you fucking know a THING about me. So shove your accusations up your ass and leave me the hell alone. Because I can't fucking take it anymore. Stop acting like I don't have a fuck of emotions and that I'm just there. 'Cause I'm not a damn robot, okay?

I don't mess with your life, so don't get into mine.

There's only one fucking thing I want right now, and no one can help me get that. So all of you go and take your fucking assholish selves and burn, please. Because I don't need any of your damn shit. All of you are driving me to insanity. ALL of you. If I could, I'd run away forever. Because everyone has burdened me in some way or another. I can't think of one person who's done an OUNCE of good for me, without saying shit later.

Fuck you all. I've never hated the people in this world as much as I do right now.

You Can Kiss My Natural Black Ass!

2004-10-26T16:04:00.000-04:00

I transfered. My first day was yesterday. It was pretty fun. It's a totally different environment then SJHS's. History is gonna be a lot of work, PE might actually be fun, and my spanish class is going to make me hate spanish. But I might actually get a good grade. Cool rice. Hahah I need a new expression. Cool beans is overused.

I saw my uberhottie today. hahah. My old obsession. I like to call it the 'i-love-you-but-you-hate-me-can-but- can- i-please-just-touch-you-cause-you're-on-fire' obsession. But no worries, obsession died a long time ago. But I did some maaajor flashbacking. I'm a fool.

We're playing TENNIS in PE. awww Carly is my tennis buddy! But K8lin is my new one. I'm cursed at Badmitton! I used to BE GOOD! Rrrrr.

Everyone is making a huge fuckin' deal about this election. Dude, like, yeah it's important and all but I say screw it. The candidates suck. We should all boycott the damn thing and party at my place. Wuh hoop hoop.

I saw Mr. Biohottie today. He's pretty cute. hahaa.Jessica, I think he knew we were staring at him. lol. Oh snap. We're smooth.

I met some people today in my history class. That was niftio. It was cool rice. haha.

I hate the bus ride. It's too long. At least Yvonne is there. Yvonne is awesome.

If I get 4008 on the McDonald's monopoly piece, I win a digital player. lol. Cool, I know.

Well, I'm gonna go fill out surveys now. Later, foolioz.
-ARi

My 17 Magazine Tells Me That You're in Love!

2004-10-21T15:13:00.000-04:00

Damn myself...

I really am stupid.

I want to transfer soo bad, so I can leave my stupid shithead mistakes behind. Gosh darn.

Anyways...today really sucked. I think I want to die...no...wait I don't. I just want to be happy. is that so much to ask? Yeah, I think it is.

I wanna run away. Not far...just...somewhere. Ahh. I'm making no sense.

I wish I had a lollipop.

There's too much stress in this world. That's why I adored summer vacation. Sleep in till two pm, then get up, get online, eat and then go back to bed. Drama is bad. Because I always get thrown in the middle of it. People you just need to leave me alone. Don't mess with my feelings [which tons of people are sooo good at doing], don't laugh at me, don't tell me you hate me...just let me live my life. I'm not stopping you from living yours, am I?

Okay, I know I'm a freak, I know I'm an asshole, I know I'm annoying and I know I need help.

There. To all you stupid fuckers who thought I couldn't admit what I was. Well, there you have it. Right there...typed from this very computer and put out for hundreds of thousands of people to see. That's what you wanted, right? So there it is. Eat it up, revel in it, drown in it. I don't care anymore.

The world is not on my side. It never has been and I don't plan on it to be in the future. Everything is going down the drain and I just want to talk to someone.

Wait, no I don't. Not really. I think what I really, really want is to hide in my bedroom forever with an unlimited supply of Hot Fudge Sundae poptarts and a billion and five realllly good books and a thousand CDs. Then I will truly be happy. But right now, happiness is the furthest emotion I feel. School sucks, family sucks, people suck and no realizes just how much I hate everything. They think I'm being dramatic, well, you know what? Fuck. off. It may sound dramatic, but I don't care. I am who I am. Remember? I just admitted what I was above.

I want to go home. Now.

-ARi

REPAIR MAN MAN MAN MAN!

2004-10-18T14:38:00.000-04:00

Sooo yes. I haven't really updated you people on my life. hahah no one even reads this, so why do I bother? *shrug* You got me.

Anyways, homecoming was Saturday. It was soooo much fun. Waay more fun than I was expecting to have. Except when a certain person started spazzing over the dude she is completely head over heels for...then things started to...uh..go bad. But not that bad, because I didn't let it stop my fun. *woop wuhhoop* They played some really crappy music, but it all had a beat and that's all that mattered...right?

I was so dead on the car ride home. I had to go to Carly's to get my clothes since I got ready at her house...THEN I went home. haha Colin's head is a good pillow. Trust me. *oh and , uh, no matter what he says I WIN! He was disqualified so I win by default*. HA. Yeah, but anywho, I was about to fall asleep in the car...I almost did BUT THEN I HAD TO GET OUT! And then when I got home I had to get online so I could tell Jessica about my splendiferul time, of course...but she wasn't on. So I was like screw this so I went to go change *and thank the angels we didn't have to walk around in our heels or else I would've died* and I had to pry myself out of that STUPID DRESS! Then I fell asleep instantly.

I had so much fun. I LOVE LOVE LOVE CARLY fot getting a ticket. I owe her everything. <3

-ARi

You Talk About Day, I'm Talkin' Bout Night Time.

2004-10-15T21:18:00.001-04:00

I hate immature people. I mean, I like immature people. Like people who you can mess around with and stuff. But immature as in, perverted [even in a joking way] or shit like that is just so damn annoying! And people who agree with it [but never say stuff like that] are equally as immature. I mean...seriously. Grow up. How do people even find any of it funny? It's stupid and degrading and it shouldn't be taken lightly. Hah. Sucks that I'm the only person who feels this way. Sadly, a large percentage of teenager/preteens think it's a total riot. I was so born in the wrong time period.

Someone just give me a gun now. Hahhhh.

Degrassi was sad tonight. Emma's a bitch. I'm glad Liberty and Manny are friends. Manny dumped JT. HAHA. woo. JT has a small dick. The world is overrrr!!!!!!!!!!! HIDEEE.

I'm hyper-depressed. Not a good combo.

Laterrr.
-Ari

Sloppy Firsts

2004-10-14T15:01:00.000-04:00

I highly reccomend this book to anyone! Okay, well, not anyone, but certain people. I love it with all my heart. I love the main character, Jessica Darling. I think like her. Minus the fact that she's really smart. But...she hates her friends, she lost her best friend, and some of the things she does and the way she acts reminds me of myself. But she does activities just so she can put them on her college applications. I would never do that. But yes...it's extremely funny. I love Sara. haha 'omigod! i knew you weren't a quote muff bumper unquote." she's trashy but I think her little OMIGODS are so hilarious. But yeah. It's by Megan McCafferty. GO READ IT!!!!

So. We watched this movie in Health today about how people mooch off the government for their drugs. And African Americans who find they're still being prejudiced against because of skin color. That's sad. I am in no way racist against african americans. I'm against those *and this applies to every race out there* who feel compelled to shorten the word 'with' and say 'wit' and who start every sentence with yo. *not as in I but as in yo dawg wazzzup!* Basically, I am against all people who know how to speak english, but choose to invent their own forms of it. If you say to me 'wud up wit choo homie?' I'm gonna tell you to get out of my face. haha.

Simple. As. That.

Searching

2004-10-12T15:58:00.000-04:00

I'm trying so hard to be patient with this transferring thing, but it's really making me irritated. The process is waaay too long for my liking. I just want to start the school SOON. Is that too much to ask?

Today was pitifully boring. And painful. But I actually think I did well on my history and math quizzes. Wow. I really hate that I have to do all this crap still, even though I'm probably getting out soon. It reallly bites. I might miss SJHS a little bit...just Carly and the posse and our cult. lol...and of course Colin sitting on my lap. haha. right. lol. But Carly's pretty much pissed at me because I'm leaving. Oh well. I'm trying not to take other people's feelings into consideration. That sounds selfish, but I'm doing this for me and not anyone else.

I'm really...blah lately. You know, teen angst and trying to "find myself". Whatever that means. Really...how do you "find yourself"? Your tastes change and you form new interests. "You" comes and goes. Your beliefs can change...everything can. So how can we find out who we are? It's really strange. Maybe it means being comfortable with ourselves and embracing our flaws? I'm really unsure. It makes me depressed sometimes.

-ARi

I'm Gonna Tai Chi Your Butt

2004-10-09T13:46:00.000-04:00

I. love. RFR. Friday's episode ( I'm with Cupid) was soo good. I used to really hate Bridget, but I think she's pretty cool. At first I thought maybe her and Ray were going to get together, but nope. Travis and Bridget all the way. The kiss was perfect, and at first I didn't think it was going to happen. Lily didn't seem upset, though, and that's the whole reason I wanted them to kiss. ha. So now that Bridget is assumingly with Travis, Lily no longer has a chance. YAY! Buuut...does this mean a total Rily is coming up ahead? I hope not. Ray and Lily don't belong. She needs to go...prance off with River or something. Ray should be with Parker. Oh, the subplot was AWESOME. Kimbie all the way, yo. I love Robbie. Kim does not know what she's missing out on. Oh well, she'll realize for love for him eventually. But that was one of the best episodes this season. I was surprised, though, with the language. lol. I mean, when has RFR ever used the words damn and hell? It was surprising, but whatever.

Next week's episode (You've Got Email) is supposed to be the best Rily episode, but I Just hope they don't get together.

-Ari

No More Lies

2004-10-08T19:12:00.000-04:00

[I wish I could go back in time. And fix the mistakes I made, because I've made too many.]

I'm not perfect. And I'm not always right. Opinions are neither right nor wrong. So why I am constantly being accused of being wrong, when I'm simply stating an opinion? You're wrong when you distort the FACTS. Like...say someone says 'Henry the 8th was the King of France'. See...you'd be wrong. Because Henry the 8th was the king of ENGLAND.

But if I say...'you look like a prostitute.' I'm stating an opinion. Because someone else might think you look good, but I think you look like trash. Get it? So I'm sick of being reprimanded for my beliefs and feelings. Just stop. Because I know how I feel. And you know how you feel. But when I say something I think, it can't be wrong. It can't right either. So stop it. Because I'm about to combust with all the things people have said to me. Lay off, because I don't want to hear it.

-Ari

You Choose, you Lose

2004-10-05T21:08:00.000-04:00

I never realized how much I missed my bloggerrr until now. I mean, two posts in a day--wow!

You know what's scary? Choices. You pick what's best for you, but you can never predict exactly how it's going to work out. And what about the one option you ditched? Where could that have led you? On a path worse or better than the one you chose to travel? You never know, because unfortunately we don't have lovely crystal balls to see into the future. We have to be dependent on ourselves and hope that we may end up happy. Because we only have on life. But that one life could have taken a compltely different toll if we had traveled down the opposite road...if we had picked A and not B or vice versa. It's creepy. And it's something to think about. *shrug*

-ARi

I Wanna Be Sedated

2004-10-05T15:14:00.000-04:00

It's funny how what used to be the most important thing in the world to you, now rarely ever crosses your mind. It's funny how you can be head over heels in love with something or someone and then it will just totally fade away. It's scary. And it's sad, and it's heart breaking and gut wrenching all at the same time. Because you change. And now more than ever it's becoming clearer. To me, at least. I could easily dismiss this with an 'appreciate the good things and cherish every moment of your life'. But when we're living in the real world, those don't usually come to mind when we're wrapped up in the moment.

It's kind of creepy how feelings can change. How you can love someone one moment and then later wonder how you ever could have liked that person. And you and try and you try to remember, but it's over. You don't feel the same connection and you want so much to get it back, but you're confused on how to go about it. And you feel like you've wasted your time. Why bother when you're just going to lose interest again?

So I'm telling you; have fun when you can, live when you can and never forget who you are! Life is way too short. Just never forget the things that once made you you. Don't block out the memories, embrace them. It'll make you stronger in the end.

-Ari

Leave. Me. Hanging.

2004-10-03T17:38:00.000-04:00

I haven't written in here in forever. Oh well. I ditched it for xanga. I'm terribly sorry. But I am back now, have no fear. 'Cause I know like everyone so totally reads this thing.

I'm craving RFR. I haven't seen the old episodes in, like, forever. I watched How to Lose a Girl pt 1 & 2. But I've seen that one like five hundred times in the course of three days. It's still hilarious though.

I took a quiz on the-n.com. My "the-n dream date" is Toby, Ray and Robbie. haha. I took it four times. I wasn't satisfied with Toby. Because, I know myself and don't go for guys like Toby. I was much happier to get Ray, and even more so when I got Robbie. Tee hee. ;) I think my new obsession is RFR.

Eeeek! New season of Degrassi started Friday! The episode was totally awesome. I loooove Lauren Collins. Best actress ever. <3>

The new RFR sucked. I hate Bridget. diediedie. I want Parker to come back. But I think she's only going to be on 9 episodes. Nooooo her and Ray are destined!! lol. And I am desperate for a Kimbie episode!! There hasn't been one since...that one episode "these bossy boots were made for walking''. Eeeeeeee.

Uh uh uh. I don't wanna go to school tomorrow. High school is the ultimate evil. At SJHS is. I hate it with a passion that no one will ever understand. Later kids. I have nothing else to say. Actually...I have everything to say...just not here.

Oh God.

2004-09-03T14:05:00.000-04:00

Orientation yesterday. It sucked. I surrounded by strange people I didn't know and I kept expecting Jessica or Ellie or someone to just..save me. But they weren't there. I was so..alone even when I was with my friends. Because it just hits you. Like oh my god this is it. This is going to be the next four years of my life. In this scary place without my dearest friends who helped me overcome middle school. You always expect them to be there but they're not. And I wish more than anything they were because I miss them already. They were the reason I loved going to school everyday. Because they knew ME. Now I have to smile and try to make friends again in hopes that maybe I'll come across someone who I can be myself around. It's scary. Really, it is. I'm not ready. I keep thinking that come the 7th I'm going to be back in Mr. Vile's class. Hah. I wish. Middle school was so simple. I took it for granted. Damn myself.

But I found out Kelly's in my English class. And um. So is this chick who used to be my best friend in 4th grade. I doubt she remembers me. And if she does, she probably won't like me anymore. That's kind of sucky. Because we used to be really close. Ah.

Schedules came today but I can't get mine because mom's not here. Damn it.

I need to do homework. Seriously.

They have open classrooms at SJHS. I don't like that. It's for Spanish and English. Ugh. Math is in a trailer as well. Damn it. Blah.

Hopefully I have some classes with some of the people I know. Like Lindsay and stuffs. RAWR WHATEVER!

-Ari

One day!

2004-09-01T20:20:00.000-04:00

Hah I wrote three one shots in ONE day. Oooh. I am so proud. Oh yes. I wrote my second HP one shot ever. And I am so happy. Then I wrote 2 Degrassi. One which I like very much. Eeeee!!!

I watched School of Rock commentary today. Oh god, was that hilarious. *It means you're an alcoholic man...* wow. It was great. Good entertainment, really. :)

Orientation tomorrow. Ah! *hides* Nah, hopefully it should be good.

I need to watch harry potter before I go to bed. Must remember that. Okay. Yes.

I shall go now. Nothing to sayyy. Nighttt.

-Ari

I'm not a fucking loser.

2004-08-30T18:33:00.000-04:00

The rest of you are losers. Losers who never really understood. You can easily pretend to know what goes on inside my head, but you won't know the truth if you just keep assuming. Because no one ever thinks about asking ME what goes in my own life. No one ever gets that just maybe there's more to me than what I'm showing you. No. Nobody wants to bother. Because it's so much more fun to pretend that you're right. Isn't it? You can degrade me, judge me and hurt me and think that I will never, ever find out. But I always find out. You can say that I do stupid things, and I won't disagree with that. But you can't say that I have no reason to do the things I do because there's always a reason. But you could never understand that.

I struggle and struggle to find some way to get you to realize that. But you wouldn't listen. And I was never really good with talking about my emotions.

I can't stand this place. Because of you. Because you have your own ideas about me and never do you check to see if you're right.

Because it's much more fun to pretend that you're always right. Right?

-Ari

Making an Effort?

2004-08-26T17:17:00.000-04:00

I got my book today. Now all I have to do is read it. It's really strange. But um it doesn't look that bad. I'm gonna go start reading it here soon.

Going to Jessica's on Saturday. People are going to be there. I forget who. But I think the majority of them think I'm odd. Sigh. We should've got like a bunch of people. Like alot. It's good having lots of people. Makes it more fun. But I think this should be pretty good. We're gonna see a movie. I'm not really a fan of that but I guess with other people there it should be better. I think we're seeing without a paddle...which is supposed to be funny i guess? *shrugs* Comedy isn't really my thing. Nothing captures my humor. The only thing I thought was hysterically funny was Boy Meets World. The only show that can make me really laugh. And movies hardly ever capture the good humor. Heh. I can't even think of a movie that really made me laugh. Except Signs but that was because Emily watched it with us and we made fun of it. FOILIES! oh god, that was so funny.

But yeah I'm hoping for the best. I get to see Ellie again, so that's cool.

Ummm, I was at SE for most of the day. Mrs. J is actually, and dare I say it, NICE! lol. I had fun anyways. Dez and I were being stupid. We rolled down the ramp with the roll-y chair. haha that was funnnnnn.

Well, I shall be off! Lattter.
-Ari

I'm a Freakin' Procrastinator!!

2004-08-25T22:22:00.000-04:00

Rawr. Never started homework. Damn myself. I need to work on it after I get back from the elementary school tomorrow. I will. I've gotta start reading. The write up I can do later. I just need to force myself to read.

Sigh. Anyways, I'm on my dad's laptop. It's weird. But at least I can be online. Um. Yeah I tried to download AIM and it didn't work. Rawr so I have to use AOL...hopefully I can send pictures.

I was listening to harry and the potters. now I want to put my Sara Evans cd in now but the media player won't work. Oh dear we are in trouble.

I haven't watched HP in a couple days. I should watch it tonight.

I was on the phone with Mike and Jessika for like a million hours last night and I threw off my schedule. I never talk on the phone so that's why. Hmm. Oh such interesting conversation. They scare me.

I watched School of Rock yesterday as well. I love that movie. It's so funny. <3

Well I shall beoff. Laterr!

-Ari

Blocked.

2004-08-24T15:18:00.000-04:00

I need to think of something good to write. It's like...all these eye-dears are floating through my brain but...I can't plan anything. I usually just write on a spur of the moment base. I can't ever think of something and map it outttt. Rawwwrr!!

All I've been doing today is listening to the awesome Harry and the Potters and reading fanfics. Oh funnn! Actually, Harry and the Potters rock. Weeee've got to saaave Ginny Weasley from the basiliskkk...I swear that's genius. I <3>

Um. I need to start homework. At four. I promise I will start. I will. I need to get the other book to read. Damn it I am never going to finish. Ugh.

-Ari

Blehhh!

2004-08-23T17:33:00.000-04:00

I feel lazy. I didn't do any homework today like I meant to. Oh well. I promise to finish my book tonight. Then I will start doing the write up tomorrow. I promise!!! Eurrgh.

Anyway, today was really boring. I didn't do much. I need a shower. And I want to go shopping. And I update 2 of my fanfics yesterday, so I'm proud of myself. Well, one's not technically a fanfic...it was a one-shot but I added one more part to it. So yeah. Ha ha, I still updated twice. I'm trying to get a move on with my stories. Especially now that summer's almost over and I won't have much time during the school year to write. Which really sucks. And I'm thinking about joining the magazine or something I can write for. Which might take a lot of work...but I don't know. It sounds kind of fun. And I want to do drama as well. But then I'm also thinking of dance, which will hopefully be on the weekends so I won't have to worry much.

Sigh. Too many choices in life. But I need to get invovled in something. Once I get off line I'll ask mother about dance...again. She always says I need to get involved with things, but she never signs me up or anything. Like a few months ago I wanted to learn guitar. "oh that's sounds nice, dear..." and she did nothing. So I am not letting her mess me up on what I want to do. She said I could do dance, and I want to. And I will. I really hope Jessica does it with me though. I don't want to be aloneee!!! But I don't know if she will because we'd have to be on the same schedule and I don't think she thinks I'm being serious. But I am. I need excercise anyways and I think this would be a great way to do it.

In the meantime, I've found a new harry potter obsession. Isn't that grand? Lee Jordan. haha. He's cool, shut up. He's hilarious in PoA [the book of course]. I love all the older characters, although most of them are graduating, which is really sad. BRING BACK OLIVER WOOD!!!!!!!! *tear* Sigh. I read disturbing news about the GoF movie. They might cut out the Yule Ball, which I don't want. That was very important! Hopefully Winky is in it...that would be nifty. And lotsa Seamus. Must have that. Mm hmm.

Okay I'm done now. Later, skaters.
-Ari

Oh Dear, we are in trouble...

2004-08-21T18:04:00.002-04:00

I haven't written in here in forever, and I don't think I want to anymore. I don't know. No one reads it, and even if they did, I'm not sure I'd want certain people reading this. Oh well.

Got back from NC today. Worst trip I have ever been on. So much shit went down that it's not even funny anymore. I feel really bad. And this blog reminds me too much of the past. I need to start over. Completely over. But...I'm very attached to this thing and I don't want to rid of it yet.

Anyways, I'm very glad to be home, but the guilt is eating me alive. Arrg. I watched a lot of movies in NC...I highly suggest NEVER seeing New York Minute [lmao, don't ask, k? thanks], and The Prince & Me. Eeee. They were horrific. I watched my lovely HP movies and the Grinch [who cares if it's not Christmas? GRRR] and I watched A Walk to Remember..and Shrek...and, um, parts of Finding Nemo...and I think that was it. Wowww. I reread my HP books 2 &3 and I'm almost done with To Kill a Mockingbird [which, surprisingly, isn't all that bad.] Now I have to read I Know Why the Caged bird Sings and do the write up before school. OMG WTF IS UP WITH BIRDS!

Okay, must block out all this stress. *sings* OH MY GOD YOU LOOK LIKE A FROG OH MY GOD YOU LOOK LIKE A FROG!!!!

You know what's sad? That I can recite most of the lines from my HP movies. hehe. I think I've seen them too many times. I can repeat them randomly...it's kind of scary. Haha. CODSWALLOP!!!!!! Muahahahahahahaha. Ohhh dear we are in trouble! OH I CANNOT WAIT UNTIL NOVEMBER TWENTY THIRD! POA WILL BE MIIIINEEE!!!!!!!!!

Peace and love & everything HP,
-Ari

In NC...

2004-08-16T20:14:00.000-04:00

Hola people. Here I am, in NC. It's kind of boring, though...nothing to do really. I'm glad we have internet connection, though because I would've died. We got here yesterday and already there's nothing to do. Mariah's here. She's at the other computer, writing. I was writing a story, but I'm blocked. I can't think of a plot. Oh darn. BLEH!

I want AIM! lol. I think I should download it...these computers are soOoOO old. RAWR. other than that, there's nothing else going on. I think we're going to the mall in Boone tomorrow. That should be okay. I want to walk to the super walmart. That would be funnn.

All I've been doing is reading or writing or playing xbox. Woo hoo. I need to finish To Kill a Mockingbird but I've been reading HP instead. I reread PoA and it is absolutely marvelous. lol.

We rented the sorcerers stone...which I haven't seen in forever. I love it. wee. lol. They were all so young. Oh and my guess for the 6th book is that Seamus is the half blood prince. Heh I dunno if that's a good thing or not. THEY BETTER NOT DO ANYTHING BAD TO MY SEXY! hah.

Well I'm off...the computer is jacked up and making gurgly noises. haha.

-Ari

Happy Birthday, Madre!

2004-08-13T17:47:00.000-04:00

Yay! it's my mom's birthday. Yippeeee. Anywho, I'm really bored. I've been playing my HP game all day. haha, i've gotten really far! I'm almost at Dez's level...but I'm not gonna play the spider part. Eeek. That would be too hard.

I'm sore. My arms hurt. The accutane is killing me. Grr. It better not get worse... I have to dance! lol.

I'm listening to my mix cd from Chels. It's really awesome. Your Stories, my Alibies by Matchbook Romance is a great song.

Ugh I have nothing to write about. I'm so boring...

I'm going to NC tomorrow. I'm happy.

LOVE YOU ALL!!!!!
-Ari

THUNDERBIRDS!!

2004-08-12T17:56:00.000-04:00

My new favorite movie. Hahaha. Let me explain the past 2 days before I get into that. Well, okay, I went to Jessica's house yesterday. We just kind of hung out...you know, the usual *CHICKEN!!!!!!!!!! lmao you are a spaz, jess*. Well, we're sitting there downloading my CD's into her computer and this song on TV reminds her of Mike all of a sudden, so she grabs the phone and I'm like wtf are you doing? And she's like CALLING MIKE! lol. It was so random. But, yeah, his cousins were over or something so he called us back...and um yeah. I got to talk to him. That was nice. I haven't talked to him in a while. Then they called this other Mike from some place. heh...and yeah we were up till like 2 AM talking...and Jessica wouldn't hang up on them! she's all 'noooo! we have to be nice!' ugh! lol. But then we finally got off, and went to sleep. Well, then I had to get up at like...10 am and ugh that was not cool. So we picked a time to go see Thunderbirds & Mike came with us to see it. Well, I was really excited to see it because I'm corny like that. haha. And the whole fucking time they're making fun of it and I'm like SHUT UP BITCHES I WANT TO WATCH! and so I tried to ignore them. It was annoying, but yeah. It was soooo predictable & the acting kind of sucked & everything but I thought it was cute. lol. BRADY CORBET SHIRTLESS! mm hmm. It was a good movie, oh yes. It made me smile and go OMGOSH NO! so it was good movie. Mike & Jessica just think they're too cool to like a movie like that. I'm so glad I didn't sit by Mike in the theater. I woulda been so pissed off at him. Like..I swear the whole time it'd be Mike talking then Jessica giggling...and I'm like ARRRGGH STOPPPPPPP MAKING FUNNNN! HMPH. I thought it was pretty nifty. Then when we were leaving the theater this survey guy comes and makes Mike take this survey about The Village. lol and he was answering the questions and he's never even seen the whole thing. That was funny but took up too much time. Then we walked to border's and I got a lollipop like I did when I went with Kaitlin & the rest of our posse.

Her mom came and took us back to her house. We played basketball...which was...um...interesting. They're mean to me. I didn't appreciate that at all. How many freakin' ways can you get the damn ball into the hoop? seriously. It's dumb. Um then we were throwing the ball backwards & shouting random phrases as "good luck". My phrase was like...Clyde the Frog or something. haha. I forget. But yeah then we went to the court by the pool and played there...which was eh. They were still being mean to me. I didn't like that. Not at all. It wasn't funny. Um, then we walked home & stopped at this kid's stand where he was selling candy. lol I got a ring pop. And then Jessica saw her "buddy" who was this really annoying kid. I don't know why she thinks he's cool, but uh, whatever I guess. And me and Mike were like omg let's go this is stupid...and she's just like "no you guys can go, though" so we did. We went the long way but whatever. That pissed me off. But, oh well, I guess. Then um. Her mom took us all home...and yeah. My feet are sore and blistery. That's not fun. I'm tired. GAH!

Going to NC soon. I'm excited. Yay. Well, I'm off...to go do other things. Adios.
-Ari

I'M GOING TO FUCKING DIE!

2004-08-11T16:54:00.000-04:00

I swear that medicine is going to kill me. My head was throbbing earlier.

I smell. I should be in the shower.

I'm going to Jessica's tonight. That should be fun. I forget when she's coming to get me.

8ish?

Yeah, sure.

I want to go see Harry Potter.

Yes.

I've already seen it twice though.

Oh well.
You can never get enough HP.

I'm listening to the CD Chelsea burned me. It's great.
Want to know the songs? Yes, of course you do.
1. Sympathy Page- With Broken Wings
2. Sunday Drive- Early November
3. Every Night's Another Story- Early November
4. Vindicated-Dashboard Confessional
5. Lovers & Liars- Matchbook Romance
6. Cry- Faith Hill
7. Only Happy When It Rains- Garbage
8. Your Stories, My Alibies- Matchbook Romance
9. 17 Magazine- Relient K
10. I Dare You to Move- Switchfoot
11. Where Are You Christmas?- Faith Hill
12. Faceless- Godsmack
13. Again I Go Unnoticed- DC
14. Stranded- Plumb
15. Suffocation- Edgewater
16. Shadow - Ashlee Simpson

All of them are great songs.

Okay, now I really smell.
Shower time.

LOVE YOU ALL!

-Ari
PS: Harry and the Potters totally rock. ^-^

DEAD!

2004-08-10T20:13:00.000-04:00

I just took my first Accutane pill this evening. I keep applying chapstick every 30 seconds. I'm paranoid & I swear my eyes are throbbing. Ack. I hope I can still do dance. I really want to. If I can't, I will die. That was my goal. People are probably like WTF she can't dance? But, you silly people that is why I am going to take lessons with my buddie Jessica! *WHO IS NAMING HER KID AFTER ME SO HA!*

I finally got my CD from Chelsea. And my glasses. The CD rocks. I've got great songs. Where are you Christmas! lmao! YAHH! I love that song.

Mariah's here. Gottaaa gooo. HP time. Bye.

GASP

2004-08-09T14:57:00.000-04:00

I'm past my 40th post already. Wow. That's fascinating. lol. Or maybe I just don't have a life.

Well, I got my alarm clock back and I set it for me to wake up around ten this morning, but since I did not go to bed until around 4 am, that was difficult. I stayed up reading To Kill A Mockingbird for summer reading. Surprisingly, it's not that bad. I was confused at first, but it could be a lot worse. I've got to sort out all my work this month, so I can have it all done before September. It's going to be hard, but I have to. Ugh. I think the Pre-IB math homework would have been much easier. I'm stupid.

Anyways, I shall be going to NC on Saturday and I'll be gone for a few days. Hopefully that will be fun, but I also hope I have time to read my books for school.

Speaking of school, I'm very excited to start high school. It'll be a good way to start over and not have to deal with all the shit that I brought on myself in middle school. And I brought alot of that. I've made goals for myself and whatnot and I'm ready to start over. I'm sure the first week will be uncomfortable, but that's fine. I'm going to make for the best.

Alrighty, now I'm done. Adios, people.
-Ari

My Throat Feels Funny

2004-08-08T14:42:00.000-04:00

I think it's all the cake. Oh well. I'm feeling really...blah. I don't know why. Everyone's changing and I'm just here...alone. All my friends have lives or whatever and I know that by the time school starts I'm not going to be friends with them anymore, really...and that's kind of strange, I guess. I mean, I don't feel like I've changed at all this summer. Well, no, I take that back. I have, but not in a very noticeable way.

I mean, I guess I shouldn't complain. Most people found me to be a weirdo last year...and they still do. But that's how I always am...just weird. That pisses me off. I am not "weird''. I don't act "weird" on purpose, I'm just how I am. I can't really help it. And even the people closest to me can call me weird but in a joking way and I still get offended, because it's not funny. Not at all.

Okay, I'm making no sense, so I don't expect anyone to get this. Bye.

-Ari

Crazy Little Psychopath

2004-08-07T23:04:00.000-04:00

That's what the child was! I'm serious. She's so odd. It was like 'okay, let's play badmitton! no! let's watch a movie! NO! i wanna make bracelets!' Dude, it was crazy. But that's okay, I suppose. We did play badmitton though. But she and my sister cheated. So that's why they won. Umm, we made nifty bracelets! so that was cool. I have like 2 and I made a ring. haha. It's awesome! And Cassady was making up this game where like we had a racket and we had to play tag but we had to be playing for something...I dunno but it was crazy and me and Dez are like BACK AWAY OR I SHALL HEX YOU WITH HARRY POTTER SPELLS! lol and we were shouting them at each other...it was great. Maybe weird to some people, but that's their issue.

UGH my mom's being a bitch and she's interuppting my writing time. Damn her. Gotta go. Bye.

Randomness

2004-08-07T16:59:00.000-04:00

Okay, I'm extremely tired. I didn't wake up till like 3:30 this afternoon and I went to bed at 6 this morning. haha. I was rereading some of my SWEEP books. And oh my...I read like the first three chapters of Night's Child. And it was just tragic and I cried. lol. I'm so pitiful but that's okay. It was sad and I'm just going to pretend it never happened. Wee hee. Does that work? Yes it does.

Other than all that...I'm really bored. We're going to the ten-year-old's house tonight. I'm not too excited to go...I mean, blah. I just wanna sit and curl up in a ball and watch Harry Potter. Is that so much to ask?! I think NOT. Drooling over sexy Devon Murray and Sean Biggerstaff sounds like loads of fun compared to hanging with a little girl who despises Harry Potter. RAWR!!

You know what my new favorite show is? O'Grady. Haha. That show is so funny. Friday's episode was so sad, though. Abby and Kevin's clone were in love with each other but they disappeared because of that stupid kid. Damn him!

Oh and you know what my new favorite commercial is? The Mike's Super Short Show with the Three Musketeers! haha! I love that. They do the little hand motions and they're all THREE MUSKETEERS! lmao. I love it.

Ew according to my sources they're putting 7th Heaven on DVD? *gags* I hate that show. It's so annoying. I wonder when the Boy Meets World DVDs come out. Or are they out already? *shrug*

Well, I'm off. Later, kids.

-Ari

Harry Potter Survey. Wee!

2004-08-06T22:05:00.000-04:00

Section 1 - General
Have you read all 5 HP books? Yep.
Did you read the books first, or see the movies? books first.
Are you obsessive with HP? of course.
Have you ever had a HP dream? lol! i did! a few nights ago! it was creepy.
When did you first get into the books? I have no idea.

Section 2 - Favorites

Book: Goblet of Fire
Overall character: I couldn't pick just one. But I love the twins, Ginny, Ron, Seamus, and Sirius, and Lupin, and oo! Tonks was cool...and wow. Okay, I like them all. *except for a few. I spit on them* so I'm gonna stop now.
Student: Hermione. She's smart, dude.
Gryffindor: Ron
Slytherin: Draco
Ravenclaw: Luna
Hufflepuff:Cedric. *sniff*
Professor: Mcgonagoll or whatsherface..Trelawny. haha she was cool.
Owl: Um. Hedwig? haha.
Adult: Sirius. *sniff*
Quote:
"Well, if you don't like it, you know what the solution is, don't you?" yelled Hermione; her hair was coming down out of its elegant bun now, and her face was screwed up in anger.
"Oh yeah?" Ron yelled back. "What's that?"
"Next time there's a ball, ask me before someone else does, and not as a last resort!"
Ron mouthed soundlessly like a goldfish out of water as Hermione turned on her heel and stormed up the girls' staircase to bed. Ron turned to look at Harry.
"Well," he sputtered, looking thunderstruck, "well--that just proves--completely missed the point--"
Harry didn't say anything. He liked being back on speaking terms with Ron too much to speak his mind right now--but he somehow thought that Hermione had gotten the point much better than Ron had.
-GoF pg 432, chapter 23-the Yule Ball.

*hehe...I'm sure there's tons more. But that's just one of my favorites. *

Marauder: padfoot or moony. <3>Section 3: Pairings and Romance
How do you feel about romance in the books? Rock on dude.
Like Harry/Cho? Ew, die Cho!
How do you feel about Harry/Ginny? Aww. I love that pairing. Rock on.
Draco/Hermione? Ew. no. shut up.
Draco/Ginny? I read some good fanfiction with that pairing. but that's all.
Harry/Draco? sure.
Luna/Ron? Um. Let's see..No.
Dumbledore/McGonagall? hahaha if it floats there boat.

Section 4: Fanfiction

Do you like fanfiction? love it.
Do you write it? yeah.
Do you prefer slash or het..or..neither? doesn't matter.
Your favorite fanfic? Umm this Fred/Angelina fic..forget what it's called. and the one Nicole gave me to read...that was good...
Do you like Plot-What-Plot? sure sure
Do you hate "New American Girl at Hogwarts!" fics? yes.

Section 5: OotP
Did you like OotP? Yeah but it was sad and made me cry.
Was it worth the wait? Yeah sure.
Did you attend a midnight party? um no.
Did you skip through the streets with your book? no
WERE YOU EXPECTING MORE ABOUT LILY?! It would of been nice.
Didn't you love when Neville was kicking some boo-tay?! Aw of course. I love Neville.
How long do you think we'll have to wait for book 6? a long time.

Section 6: Obsess much?
On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most, how obsessed are you? i dont know.
Have you ever made an HP s/n? uh no.
Harry Potter RP much? nope .
Have you ever been to an HP message board? nope...
Do you listen to HP songs? yeah on the soundtrack. hehe. <3>Section 7: the movies
Do you like the movies? yeah.
Favorite actor? DEVON MURRAY! hahaha. actually, no, I just think he's sexy. I don't know, actually. Lemme get back to you on that, okay?
Favorite actress? Ew, not Emma Watson. lol I have an undying hatred for her. I pick Bonnie Wright! lol she's had like no part in the movies but that's okay. I love Ginny, so there? There.
Do you own the movies? Just CoS
If so, are you ashamed of that? No. lol why should I be?
Do you watch them on HBO, even if you do own them? never have, but that's probably something I would do.
Have you ever been to one of the actor/actress' websites? Yeah I was at the Emma Watson site...but that was a complete accident. lol. I swear.

*I stole this from some chicks LJ...so heh. It's not mine in any way shape or form.*

Sucky Days.

2004-08-06T18:32:00.000-04:00

The past day or so has been really, really...awful. I don't know how else to say it. I could go into a pyscho-depressive mode and bitch about it, but I don't think you want to hear all of that. So I'll just say this. I'm going on Accutane whether I like it or not. BLEH! Oh well. I'm kind of over it now. I'm sick of arguing. I feel like I ruined Dez's birthday with all the arguing. Ehhhh.. feeling kind of guilty. But yeah. I guess life goes on...

Other than that. Nothing's really going on. I need a shower...and I just want tonight to be peaceful...because when a huge disaster like last night's is created, bad things happen and I get stressed AND I DONT THINK THAT'S GOOD FOR MY SKIN!!!!!! muahah. \

I had to get blood drawn today for that stupid Accutane. haha. It was scary but I got a Spongebob band aid & the lady had her tv on and it was Dragon Tales. HA. 'Cause I was at the childrens center or whatever..since I'm "underage'. haaha.

Oh yes..my plans for tonight include: Watching Tiger Cruise, That's So Raven, new Degrassi, O' Grady, GVB and then snuggling under my covers and watching Harry Potter. Woop woop.

Well, I'm out. Laundry duty calls.

It's Dez's Birthday! uh, WHOA!

2004-08-05T13:46:00.000-04:00

Haha...Dez is finally 13. Whoaaa. So, I'm bored. And tired. And I HAVE TO GO TO THE DERMO AT 3:30 AND IT'S ALMOST 2 WHICH MEANS ...I HAVE TO GO SOON! NOOOOOOOO!! I REFUSE! I completely forgot I had to go today and mom was all 'I'll be there at 3:30 to pick up up!' and I'm all WHOA! I DONT THINK SO! heheh..yeah. So that was interesting.

I'm sooo bored though. Eeek. Lala! Umm, Mariah came back..yesterday? And she's coming to NC with us as far as I know. So that's pretty cool even though she was being really mean yesterday! *gasp* she was being so mean to sexy Seamus. We should keeeeeeel you! But, I'm not that mean. Hehe.

Anywho, there's nothing to say, except...goodbye?

Yes, goodbye.

Bye.
-Ari

Greattt Day

2004-08-04T18:08:00.000-04:00

Oh I am having a beautiful day! lol. I went out with mom today and she bought me a Harry Potter DVD and I be watching it now. Oh yes. She was in a very good mood today and I was glad for that. Because, well, look what I got out of it. hehe. I didn't even have to beg...;) I'm at the cornish pixie part...weee. Seamus is so cute. lol Y Awww, poor Neville, who got hung by the ears --oo!!! OLIVER WOOD!!!!--okay, sorry. Anyways, I was saying poor Neville...after he got hung by the pixies he was all "why is it always me?'' Aw! It's okay, Neville, I love you. ooo, I saw Penelope Clearwater! lol. I never noticed her in the movie before until now. Granted, you can't see her face, but still! she was there!

Anywhoooo...yeah, so my day was good. Yeahhhh. LA LA LA LA!!

Tomorrow's Dez's birthday...woo hoo. She's finally 13. lol she's been 12 for like eight hundred years. weee okay that didn't make sense but oh well bye!

Heee heee.

2004-08-03T11:50:00.000-04:00

You know what I realized? I wrote in the "bad color" in my last entry when I was talking about it. haha. woo. okay that's funny.

Anyways, I went to the ortho today. That sucked. He had bad breath. And he hummed stupid songs. I'm like SHUT UP! ARRRGGG. And he's just evil. I don't like him at all. But mom got me a happy meal after. haha. I got a beanie baby. YAY!

So that was my day. lol. Ooo! I wrote something HP related...I'm proud of myself...that was my goal. And I wrote some one-shot and dude..I'm very proud. lol.

Anywho, I'm off. Nothing to say! Byeee!
-Ari

=)

2004-08-02T14:20:00.000-04:00

oo I don't really write in here anymore. Heh. Well that's 'cause I got a livejournal and I've been writing there. And now I'm not sure if I even like my LJ...so yeah. I'll probably just end up writing in both. lol. That works, right?

Yes it does.

So anyways, I'm really...bored. Yesterday was fun 'cause I went to the movies with like...kaitlin, linda, kelly, manuela, ryan, colin and jeff...heh that was fun...we saw the Village which I didn't like much. *lol BEWARE OF THE BAD COLOR!* omg we were making fun of that movie so much. And the dude in front of us was all "okay the movie is starting so will you all please shut up?!" RAWRRR! lol. kaitlin would be like "hold me buddy! it's scary!' and i'd be like 'omg scary part coming up!' *grab each others arms* ...*creepy music plays*...*nothing scary happens*...OMG THAT WAS STUPID! BOOOOO! lol. there were like a max of 2 scary moments. The rest of it was like a romance/drama type thing. Bleh.

Anyway, lookie I get one of these things! 'cause I'm an awesome gryfindor. Muahahaha.lol.

be sorted @ nimbo.net

ARI! WOO!

2004-07-26T18:35:00.000-04:00

A	Ambitious
R	Radical
I	Innocent

Name Acronym Generator
From Go-Quiz.com

The Faculty...YAY!

2004-07-26T08:01:00.000-04:00

Okay, so my last post was crazy and very angerful. Well, now I'm feeling better...no encounters with any of my family yet. Just my mom and I love her so that's okay. ;) Now here I am, watching the Faculty on a portable DVD player at 8 in the AM and going insane because I haven't had any sleep. HAHA! Mary beth just pushed Stokley into Stan...omg I've never noticed that before! She's pretty cool for an alien. They are so cute. :) Okay, but yeah, I ranted in my real journal last night...I was feeling really bad...so I ate some ice cream and watched Bug Juice and Boy Meets World and whatnot and then read my sappy fanfictions and these kiddie books from a while ago and then...I tried to fall asleep after shutting my music off *Lila McAnn gets really annoying after it replaying 30 times. haha* but I couldn't. Then the puppayyy walks in and I realize my mother is awake so I go in her room and am just there...then she gets me pizza and I eat....and then...she gets ready to leave and I watch the Faculty...then I email Chelsea and Jessica and here I am! YAY! :)

Hopefully today will be good. I need relaxation.

-Ari

I Don't Care Anymore.

2004-07-25T19:48:00.000-04:00

Screw falling in love, screw friends, screw everyone. I can't take this house anymore and I can't take all of this stress anymore. And not one fucking person has any idea what I'm talking about. Screw it all. I have no friends, I don't want to fall in love. No. Because it all just fucking falls right in front of my face. It always has, I've just been such a dumbass I've never realized it before. If there's one thing I hate, it's having things kept from me and that's been happening too much lately. Who gives a fuck about friends anymore? Not me, because none of them could care about me and right now I don't have any. I don't care what you say, I have no real friends. Maybe my expectations are too high. Ugh. This entry wasn't even supposed to be about my damn non-existent friends. I can't stand my family anymore. And it's not the 'omg they're so annoying' thing. No. I don't feel safe in my own house and when you can't feel safe in the place you live, there's something wrong. But I can't do anything about it because I'm just a damn kid who knows nothing. Ugh. I hate this. I hate this, I hate this, I hate this. I HATE THIS SO MUCH AND THERE'S NOTHING I CAN DO ABOUT IT!

Marriage is stupid. It can't work. It just fails, and fails and fails...and all right before my eyes. When your family is falling apart it's hard to care about anything because it consumes you. Or at least it is me. And no one gets it and I want to get out. More than anything.

I'm sure tomorrow I'll be off laughing again making up stupid things like "*in a singy tune* HEY! YOU'RE AWAY! I JUST WANTED TO SAY! DEVON MURR-AY IS SEX-AY AND MY FUTURE HUBB-AY! LMAO! I ROCK! THAT TOTALLY RHYMED!'' like I did yesterday. SDFKLDSFKJLDFLKJDFSKFKSDFKLJSDFKLJFDFJKLSDD I WANT TO FALL OVER AND DIE.

-ari

Almost...

2004-07-24T14:25:00.000-04:00

I'm almost at my 30th post...isn't that grand? Oh yes, I think it is. You know what else I think? I think it's time to dance. *funky dance*

Wow, I'm like spazzin' out. But that's alright. I woke up like an hour ago...but now I'm really awake and functioning. Isn't that grand as well? Oh I love Chelsea. She's making me a CD and it is almost finito! Okay, I'm not sure if finito is a word, but I think you get the gist of it. FINITO=FINISHED! lol. Woo. I have great songs on there and it rocks. Oh yeah it does, bitch.

Okay, so I saw the funniest LJ icon yesterday. It was an HP icon and it was Lupin pointing his wand and the text was like 'have some chocolate, bitch!' omg that was hilarious. I don't know who made it, but whoever you are...you rock. =)

Okay, so some certain people do not appreciate my obsessions and that hurts...*sniff*...but that's okay...*wipes away tear* I...I will go on... okay, ya know, so what if I want to make out with Sean Biggerstaff? Who doesn't? *rolls eyes and walks away*

Wooo, as you can tell, I'm hyper. Okay. But um. Tonight is Cassidy's partieee. I hope mother doesn't back out of it 'cause I want to go. I need taaa get outtt. Okay, so the font I'm typing with now is NOT the font that's gonna show up in my blog...isn't that crazy!? Yeah, it is.

Oh, I read the funniest thing ever yesterday at mugglenet.com. It was this song parody and it was to the tune of "Hakuna Matata"...but it was called "Avada Kedavra". Okay, whoever wrote that song you are a genius. And hilarious. So you should all go there and read it. :)

Alright, I'm done being spazziful. Laterrr, kidz.

-Ari

My Own Space

2004-07-23T12:40:00.000-04:00

Why does everything I have and hold dear to myself eventually get taken away from me? I hate that so much. I never have anything for myself. Because someone always comes along and ruins it for me. I want to be my own person and sometimes I don't want to do the same things as other people. I like what I do and sometimes, as selfish as it sounds, I just want that to myself.

Some people think that you have to have everything in common with your friends because some people are so desperate to fit that "best friend" term. That's all bullshit. I don't want a friend who does the same things as me and I don't want to do the same things as any of my other friends. I'm sick of people taking things away from me because I can never feel like my own person. And it's just the little things too. I mean, don't get me wrong, I love having people that I can talk to about stuff. But see they originally did it in the first place.

Ugh I'm making no sense. I'm gone. Bye.
-Ari

Wipes Away Tear

2004-07-22T15:29:00.000-04:00

Aww, I was just reading a really really happy/sad fanfiction and it teared me up. lol. I love fanfiction. Ah, I've turned to the dark side of HP fanfiction...I actually like the Draco/Ginny ness. lol and that's crazy coming from me since I love HP/GW...gah!!! Anywho...nothing much has been happening here...me and Mariah cleaned today...lol well at least I attempted. I can't clean. It's just...impossible for me. Heh. But, um, yeah. I really really need a shower but I'm lazy and I don't want to inhale the Clorox chemicals in the shower. haha. That's kinda nasty...

Uhhh, other than that today was boring. I woke up like 2 hours ago so...I kinda wasted the day myself. Oh darn. I need to write. *sighs dramatically* to release my souuull. But I'm totally blocked and can't come up with any new ideas for fanfiction or original fiction so I suck.

You know what I don't understand? How stupid things can be really fun. Okay maybe not stupid, but just...things like writing, reading, or cooking or drawing...or playing a sport. How can that be fun? If you think about it it sounds really lame...putting a bunch of words together, bouncing a ball around, mixing up foods to see the result. How do we find that amusing? *shrugs* I guess it's one of those unanswered questions in life. But it's been bothering me for a reeeallly long time...so yeah. lol.

Gotta goooo...I hear my name being called. I'll probably write more later.

-ari

Too Lazy to Think of a Title

2004-07-21T11:58:00.000-04:00

Damn, I write in here alot and, like, no body reads it. Oh well! I think it's amusing and it's sooo much easier than handwriting in my own journal (but I still use it of course) . Um. I'm happy to say that my mouth has stopped bleeding, but it feels so weird...missing teeth and all. I woke up about 20 minutes ago...so I'm still sorta dead. Don't think I am doing anything today considering my friends hate me and no one's home. haha. Oh well..I'm kind of glad to get away from everyone in 8th grade because it's not like they were really my friends. Just aquaintances who were like 'omg i love you sooo much! stay in touch. BFFL!" lol. It's jacked up. Can't wait for next year.

Other than that, Saturday is Cassiday's birthday. *She used to be our neighbor...mothers are best friends blahblahblah* She's turning 10. I'm kind of looking forward to it because I love get togethers. :) Too bad we aren't family oriented, because I love spending time with family. That sounds weird, doesn't it? Oh well. *shrug* It's the truth.

I'd like to take the time now to say that I have indeed started writig a Harry Potter one-shot. I started out with the intentions of making it Ron/Hermione but um, it kinda turned out Harry/Ginny. Whoops. lol. Oh and for anyone who cares. These are the pairings I love: Hermione/Ron, Harry/Ginny, Fred/Angelina, [some] Draco/Ginny, Neville/Luna, Neville/Lavender...and I'll read anything with Seamus..I like Seamus/Parvati though. :) I refuse to read Hermione/Draco, Seamus slash *not that I Really have anything against slash..but you know*, Harry/Cho, HARRY/HERMIONE, George/Angelina, Fred/George twinscest. lol. That's about it.

Now, speaking of fanfiction and whatnot...I'm seriously lacking ideas for my Degrassi ones. I've got an Ellie/Jimmy story that needs finishing a Liberty centric fic and I'm working on an Emma/JT one. Oh and I have one completed one shot which is Paige/Craig. Here's the link to my profile for fanfiction if you're interested...
http://www.fanfiction.net/profile.php?userid=423355

*cringes* I can't believe I just did that...none of my friends ever...I mean EVER read any of my work. Oh well, there's a time for everything. I guess I don't let them read it because I know they're either not going to be honest and just automatically say "I love it" or they'll be too honest and tear me apart and say something like "that was so gaay...you suck." heh. Well, too late now...I'm not erasing it. Oh and DONT STEAL! lol. OKay, now my degrassi ships: Ellie/Jimmy, Emma/JT, Ashley/Jimmy, Emma/Sean, Paige/Spinner, Ellie/Spinner, Liberty/JT. I refuse to read pretty much any story with Manny and the Manny/Craig pairing. Okay, I take that back. SOME Manny fanfiction has been pretty good. I won't read JT/Manny, Sean/Manny, haha pretty much anyone and Manny, there's some Paige/Spinner that I won't read..and none of that Paige/Jimmy stuff...oh and I hate Jimmy/Hazel...ew and Ellie/Sean. That's it basically.
Oh and on my profile it says that my name's Krystine. That's just a name I go by. So leave it be. lol.

This has gone on long enough. I'm outtie oh yes. lol.
-Ari

Ew.

2004-07-20T17:01:00.000-04:00

Blah. So I just got 4 teeth pulled today...it's been hours but my mouth is still bleeding. My mouth isn't numb anymore and I'm so glad. Geezus, I almost threw myself into a fit at the place...they had to give me a shot and I freaked. Heh. Then I went off into happy land and they ripped teeth out of my gums. I woke up and felt like I was drunk *not that I would know or anything haha*. Then I came home, sat online and read fanfiction. I'm starving...I've had no food since last night and it's 5 and arrrg!! I can't eat 'cause my mouth is STILL bleeding. I hate this...but at least it's over.

I might get a job. Haha! Yeah! I can work at theortho place...they get good money. Seriously. The lady was talking all about it. Her daughter works there. You have to be 14 or 15 though. It doesn't matter bbecause it'll probably be over next summer or spring when I do work and I'll be 15 by then. So that's really awesome. :)

Now I'm gonna go..read HP or some more fanfics or something. Laterrrrr.

-ari

I'm A Leo...err..riiight..

2004-07-19T16:04:00.000-04:00

Haha...I'm a Leo today! Woop woop. OKay, so actually I'm wearing my mom's tanktoppie/camisole thingy and she's the one who's a Leo. I'm a Gemini, ohh yeah. Anyways, I went to go see Harry potter (for the second time) with Mariah. She was all scared. lol. It was awesome, but I don't like what'sherface who plays Hermione. *no, Mariah, she is not cool. HA.* Her and the fact that Oliver Wood was not in this movie are my only complaints. Oh, the kid who played Seamus is one hot kid, oh yes. lol. I love Harry Potter and I don't care what you have to say about that...unless you do too then hey we can talk. =) Anyways, I have to get teeth pulled tomorrow and I'm scared! BLAH! They're permanent teeth too. Damn my stupid family. They gave me bad genes. It's not my fault. I'm trying not to get depressed about it because I can't change it no matter how much I DESPERATELY want to...but...oh well. As Paige said "getting alll down and sucky about it doesn't help anyone." I'll just go, get it over with and pray to the Angels that I don't wake up during it. lol yes I'm a wimp and I have to be knocked out. Anywho....I'm bored and dreading tomorrow...I might go read now or clean my room or something. *lol I know i just cleaned it but it's getting messy again. heh...* That's all for now. Lattterrr.

DROOL

2004-07-18T19:49:00.000-04:00

Sexy sexy:

With Which Harry Potter Male Are You Most Sexually Compatible?
brought to you by Quizilla

Ari or Aryan?!

2004-07-17T17:27:00.000-04:00

Ahh, I'm in between names for next year. Like everyone calls me Ari...but tons of people know me by Aryan. The only thing about going by my real name is that I hate the way it's spelled. I could change it. Haha. Some chick in the magazine had my name but she spelt it Ariane. I think that's pretty cool. But I dunno! I need opinions!! Lol. RAR. Ari kinda sounds weird, but it's cool. *ponders* AH SO CONFUSED!!!

Anyway, not much has been happening. I'm about to go off and start another fanfiction. I can never finish mine but that's okay. BLEH! lol. Hopefully I can stick to this one and get ideas for my other ones before it is too late. DUN DUN DUN!

Oh my room is clean and so spiffed up!! I like it. lol. It's wicked cool yeah man. :) You should be jealous.

Well, I'm outtie. *lmao that's so Lizzie McGuire*
Byee
-Ari

MY BLOG SUCKS!

2004-07-16T23:48:00.000-04:00

Okay...every time I post something it never freakin' shows up. RARR. It's really making me mad. I'm sure this won't show up either, but if it does I will be happy. No one seems to have trouble with theres. Hah of course I get the cursed one. Damnn. Maybe I should go back to my LJ or just start a new blog...I don't want to, but it looks like that's what's gonna happen.

Anyways, I've reorganized my whole room. I still have lots to put away but I'm working on it. I made collage on my door and it looks sexxxy. lol. Now I have to do 2 more walls...I want POSTERS! But nooo I have none. Okay, I have 2. But that's not enough!!! RARRR. Sorry, being a spaz. I'm out. Later.

-Ari

My 20th Post. Ohhh dances

2004-07-14T18:10:00.000-04:00

I'm just so awesome. Anywho, there's nothing interesting going on in the life of me. I'm actually diggin' the summer though. I don't have to worry about anything and there's no stress and it's great. It really is. I want to go to the moviesssss though. But like, I can't. Was supposed to go to Ellie's tonight but transportation was an issue, so I can't go. Bleh. Oh well, we'll get together eventually. We must. Hmm, I'm still reading Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. It's pretty good, actually. I'm on, like, page 425 or something. I forget.

Errrrrrr...I've been listening the Punisher soundtrack alot lately. I like it. It's aweeesome. I love that song Smile Empty Soul sings on it. I think it's called Finding Myself or something like that. Anywoodles...I'm just slightly bored. I'm going to go and write the next chapter for one of my fanfictions...that is if I feel inspired. Laterr, dudes.

-Ari

Oooopssssie.

2004-07-12T18:09:00.000-04:00

Haven't updated in a few days. Oh darn. Lol. No one reads this I don't think but oh well, it's helps me vent. So, my past few days have been alright. Went to KD with Jessica her familia, which was pretty nifty. (Damn it, I regret buying those pens!! ARRRG!! lol) Ooo we got Dora cups! YAY! Mine says Vamos A Explorar, which means Let's Explore! Woo hoo! So my weekend was good. Today Mariah and I were going to go see Harry Potter [again, yes I know but she's never seen it and I volunteered to go see it again with her] but mom was being blah ish and would not take us. So we went and rented some movies. We got The Faculty [<3], Thirteen, and Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets [to make up for not seeing the 3rd movie]. Yes, I've seen the Faculty 4 times, Thirteen about 7 times and Harry Potter about 3 times and I know the lines to all of them practically, but you still can't stop watching a good movie. I can still watch all of those movies and be totally hooked on the plot as though it's my first time watching it so that's good. :) [Oh and a blah to Bradley for even SUGGESTING that Harry and Hermione should be together because that's just disgusting. I'm sorry. Ron + Hermione forever. Woo! lol I'm such a freak, but that's okay. I don't care.]

Bleh, I haven't eaten anything all day. I had a diet coke and that's it. GAH! But I drank the soda too fast so now my stomach aches so I'm not really hungry, but I'm having a turkey sandwhich on pita bread for dinna! Woop woop. Anyways, Mariah's in the same room as me playing this Spiderman game which looks pretty cool. She's mad at Dez...again. Well, actually I think it's the other way around but uh, oh well. Within a few days they'll be friends again and I'll just be...there. *shrugs* I live with it.

Oh I'm reading Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix and it's all right so far. I really want to start re-reading the SWEEP series, but I'll get lost with the HP book. BLAH! I've been reading some good HP fanfics by the way...but I shall not torture you all with my babbling. Heh heh...I want to but I won't because that is soOooOoOoO unfair of me.

Okay this entry has gone on long enough. I think fanfics are calling my name...adios dudez.

Love always,
-Ari

Fanfiction Would Totally Rock My Socks if I Was Wearing Any!

2004-07-05T20:00:00.000-04:00

I loooove fanfiction.net! That place is like..my haven...I love it to death and I would *die* if it ever left me. I was a hardcore Degrassi fanfic reader, but you know, they have some really good Harry Potter fanfics...I'm turning obsessed!! Muahahaa Oh well. I don't think obsession over a made up character is a bad thing. It's not like they could ever hurt you. Heh.

So, my plans for tonight? Pig out on chocolate chip cookies and sit in front of the computer reading Harry Potter fanfics. *Ron and Hermione fics only because, well, they're destined to be together. Maybe I'll reading some Harry/Ginny as well, but I'm a total H/R shipper*. Anywho, those are my lovely plans. Oh and watch Bug Juice. Haha, that's my life. Sleep in, eat something, get online, get kicked offline, wait until sister gets off, get back on, go get something to eat, watch boy meets world at 5 and 5:30, eat dinner, computer, shower, computer until 4 in the morning. Then the cycle repeats itself. Isn't that productive? Oh yes, yes it is. Heh.

Anyways, I'm off. Later, dudes.

-Ari

Laaaaaa!!!

2004-07-03T14:39:00.000-04:00

So, today's been really boring. Actually, I just woke up an hour ago and it's like almost three in the afternoon. BUT OH WELL! Yesterday I went to see Harry Potter with Chelsea T. DUDE! That movie is awesome. lol me and Chelsea were being losers. We're like 'ooo I can make bubbles'...'wait let me put my money in my pocket. oh. i mean shoe'. hahahah...that was great. lol. Woo. Anyways, other than that...I'm bored. Mom and Dez went to go see the Stepford Wives. Doesn't look that good to me, so I didn't go. OH DARN! Blah la laaaaa.

Bye,
Ari

Save Meeee...

2004-06-29T17:01:00.000-04:00

But as the blog is entitled, you won't. I'm so bored. I want a life. Is that so much to ask?! No, I really don't think so. Too bad, like, everyone else hates me or already has plans. DAMN IT!! I need something to do. I don't think anyone's reading this...soo I guess there's no point in me ranting.

I just want school to start.

Love always,
Ari

My Inspiration

2004-06-27T15:11:00.000-04:00

Okay, so I've been on a survey spree this past week and I sent this random one to Emily and she sent it back and I realize how happy she is about everything. Yes, she is my new inspiration to get happy. I'm just a little depressed chick with no life. So my goal is to get a life. I'm going to get involved with things next year, start working out and getting positive about life. Because I've realized that I'm just wasting my life away sulking over stupid things. I'm going to change, I really am. I just really don't know where to start.

Love always,
Ari

I Hate the Summer.

2004-06-26T18:40:00.000-04:00

Summer break really sucks. There's nothing to do. I woulda gone skating with Kandyce and Asia today...but I couldn't. So oh well. I'm here, bored. What happened to all the little peeps who were all 'let's keep in touch this summer okay?!' It's all complete bullshit. I want to do something. I'm sick of the same old routine thing every single day. It's annoying. I need something to do. Damn...this sucks. It really does. I have no life, no friends. It's all just wonderful, isn't it? Eh. No, not really...

So basically I'm ranting because I have nothing better to do. I need a life, damn it. I need a life.

Oh well. I'm off. Bye.

-Ari

Duudee

2004-06-25T15:33:00.000-04:00

I haven't been home in, like, two days. I've missed my house! Shocking, I know. Ah. I'm losing track of days. I spent the night at Jessica's...um...Wednesday? Yes, I think so. And um. We hung out, went the pool with Bradley...that was cool. Yeah. Thursday we went to Carly's. She was supposed to have a party or whatever, but uh, that didn't happen. So she had me and Jessica spend the night. We wennt and saw Garfield, which was an okay movie. Predictable, but okay. Then we went to Sudley and hung out with like...Jon and Colin and whoever else was there. That was cool, I guess. I don't know. Awwwsss, Jon and Carly are going or whatever. It's really cute. I'm happy for her. Anyways, then we went to this creek thing, which was pretty blah, but um yeah. We found picnic tables and me and Jessica were saluting cars while Jon and Carly swapped spit. Ya know, it's all good. Then...I dunno, we hung out...played truth or dare which was pretty lame...but oh well. Then...um...me and Jessica and Carly watched movies...Darkness Falls and School of Rock [which was an awesome movie]...and yeah. I dunno, I felt really out of place there. It was fun, but I felt like the odd person out. Apparently, it's really fun to gang up on me or whatever. It's not that big of a deal...I just...felt weird being there. 'Cause compared to them...I'm just some little freakish child with no life experience whatsoever. But, hey, I'm learning to deal with it some...so that's good. Uh, then this morning we watched talk shows [in english and spanish] um. Then we watched some pathetic children show...which was like Boobah or whatever. hah. It was stupid. But yeah...then...my mom came and picked me and Jessica up and now here we are. Her mom is going to pick her up from my house who knows when. She's acutally sleeping right now as I type this. lol. Oh well? Anyways.

Yeah, this summer is seriously sucking. I really need a life. Hopefully next year I can meet a ton of people who actually want to spend time with me and don't have multiple personalities. heh. Well, I can only dream right?

Okay, now it's time for the famous Ari rant. This would be dissing me. Apparently, it's the next big thing. Eh. I'm used to people calling me a freak and stupid or whatever, but it doesn't make me feel any better about myself, ya know? And I don't want to be some stuck up girl who can't take a joke or whatever, but seriously, it's getting old. Oh well. Guess it just happens. Anyways. I'm off.

Love always,
Ari

Blah, blah, blah.

2004-06-22T08:07:00.000-04:00

I have to go to the dermo in, like, a half an hour and I'm not dressed yet. Heh, yes, I'm a procrastinator. Oh well. Dude, I like write in this thing religiously. Oh well, it's my savior. Keeps me from going to insane. Laahh deee dahhh. Wow, I'm seriously bored and tired. I wish I didn't have to go 'cause it's like 8 in the AM and I didn't go to bed until 1:30 or 2 this morning. So, yeah you can understand why I want sleep so bad. Well, it's not my fault Mariah came over and we were psyched to see the new Bug Juice and it turned out to be crap so we watched Daria and Degrassi and ate alot! Heh. It was fun! But now I'm about to hit the ground and go to sleep.

Save meeee, I don't want to go. Oh my. I'm just messing with this idea but I think I'm over my hopeless crush on "sunchips". Yeah. I don't think I really am but it's nice trying to convince myself I am. *shrugs* I'm sure it will all come back to haunt me, but oh well.

Anyways, I'm off before I get yelled at. Oh and if anyone reads this [which I seriously doubt]. But, if you do, then you can visit my old Live Journal which contains a million rants from me. These were back in the school days.

http://www.livejournal.com/users/imaginarykisses/

Enjoy!

Love always,
Ari

Hahaha

2004-06-21T14:21:00.000-04:00

Okay, so I was at the-n.com or whatever. And I'm taking all the quizzes in the quiz section...and I take the which dude from the-n is your dream date. Corny, but I got a badge! Wanna see? Yes you do:

http://www.the-n.com/media/quiz/badges/n-boi/jt.gif

Now, I'm going back to being a loser and taking more quizzes. Bye, now!

Love,
Ari

Isolated.

2004-06-21T11:35:00.000-04:00

That's how I feel. It's like 2 days into summer break and I already feel so alone. None of my friends want to do anything, I miss school and I'm being a complete lazy ass--binging on ice cream and watching Degrassi until 2 in the morning. I need to start working out or running or something because I can't get any more fat! My goal is to lose about 10 pounds. Haha, probably won't happen, but I can dream, right?

Anyways, yeah. I'm feeling like shit. I keep looking at my photo album that I put together yesterday...or was it the day before? Oh well, don't remember. But, yeah, I'm like obsessing over it. Lol. I'm such a loser. *shrugs* I'm living with it.

I just feel so unbelievably alone. I want to do something today, but doesn't look like that's going to happen. I wonder if Carly's still having her party. I hope so because some social interaction could really help me.

Love always,
Ari

It's All Over.

2004-06-19T17:08:00.000-04:00

The last day of school was yesterday. It was so sad. The day went by like any other day, except with a weird schedule. We watched a movie in science, Mrs. Lee-byrd went over writing terms in language arts, we hung out in chorus, and Mr. Vile talked to us about whoknowswhat. It was all so normal. I took pictures, hung out with people. It was great. Then the bell rang...and everyone was hugging each other and telling them that they loved each other...it was so sad. It still hadn't hit me yet. I was so overjoyed that my hottie gave me a hug. lol. But then Ellie came running up to me crying and I lost it. Then Kaitlin [my ghetto dawg!!] came up to me...and ah. It was so unbelievably sad. I've never hugged as many people or told as many people I loved them as I did yesterday. And meant it too. Even the people I've had disputes with and people who I've only talked to once or twice...I'm going to miss them. I'm really going to miss Marsteller. I'm not ready for my crackpot whoreish high school. To all my friends- if I become a slut or a crackwhore...don't hate me. heh. Well, the possibilities of that happening are pretty high. So yeah. I miss everyone soooo much. This year was kick ass and I'm not ready for it to be over. There were tons of hard times and times that I did stuff I seriously regret and things I regret not saying, but it all really doesn't matter now. I wish it did matter because there so much I should have said and so much I should have done. But, overall, this year was the best. I cried myself to sleep last night! It's scary.

I'm going to miss everyone so much! I seriously cry everytime I think about yesterday. Kandyce ran off her bus to come talk to me because I was crying so hard and she hugged me and started to sob. Awwwwww. And we were just like 'i love you so much, I love you, I love you!' It was so so so upsetting. I LOVE YOU ALL! Never forget me, because next year is going to be so hard without everyone. It's really hard for me to adjust to change. Damn, I'm even going to miss Mrs. Lee-byrd. And that's sad. I hate this.

Love you all,
Ari

I Cried Today.

2004-06-17T19:05:00.000-04:00

Yes, this a momentous occasion. I haven't cried in forever. Well, not really forever, but I haven't been able to cry in a loooong time. And I cried today. Lindsay wasn't going to be in school tomorrow...so I hugged her and told I loved her, and I cried. Wow. It felt good to cry again. I hate feeling numb. Emotion is better than numbness. Crying is my way of letting my emotions out and when I can't cry, everything just bottles up and I push it away. It's weird. But yeah.

Today there was a ceremony for Kayla Harris. I wish I would have gone, even though I didn't know her at all. I don't think I could have handled it though. But I feel guilty for not going. Everyone was so upset. And the whole thing just kind of made me upset. It's so tragic. But, yeah, it does really make you think how important certain people are to you. Ah...everyone was sobbing their eyes out...it was tearful.

Well, tomorrow's the last day. I already know I'm going to bawl. I was crying a river over Lindsay, who I am going to see next year. But...all of these people are so important to me. And even if they are going to be at my school next year, it's never going to be the same.

I never thought I'd say it, but I'm going to seriously miss Marsteller. This year has been the best year. Definitely bad times, but we all get over it or will get over it in the months to come.

To all my friends: I LOVE YOU ALL!!! ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT! AND NEVER FORGET ME!! You've all impacted my life in some way, and I will cherish that forever.

Love always,
Ari

Ugh.

2004-06-16T15:56:00.000-04:00

Today. Sucked. Ass.

First, I was in Mr. Broyles's class for like, a million years. Seriously the most boring class I have. And on top of that we watched a stupid movie...arrggg I'm completely against watching movies in school. It's boringggg. I'd rather have been in Spanish retaking my exam or something. Okay, so then we're all moving along with our schedules...and I FUCKING HATE THAT STUPID NERD SLUT!! FUCK HER. Wow, I'm sorry but that bitch is evil. She doesn't know she's being evil but she is, flirting with sunchips like there's no tomorrow. So I sulked in school...yes, I did. Ugh. I think I'm just an overly jealous asshole. Maybe that's it. See at that moment when she was being nerd whorey I realized that maybe going on to high school is a good thing. I'll be away from her, sunchips...and the others who have caused me pain. And all will be good. But...arg...I don't know. I feel like crying. But I can't. I hate that. I can't cry anymore. I'm serious...it's like...my body is immune to physically showing that I'm upset. I dunno. So that's one reason why I probably won't cry on Friday. I can't. I'll be really sad, but I won't cry. Weird, I am.

Oh. And I hate Ramin. That kid has some serious fucked up issues. What a jackass.

Wow, I'm being really mean, aren't I? But, eh, I'm in a pissy mood. I'm entitled to it. Ack. I'm going to go. I just have to suffer 2 more days with the 2 most evil people in the world. Then I will never have to look at them ever again.

-Ari

I Could Die From the Words that You Say...

2004-06-14T16:52:00.000-04:00

Wow, I really like this song:

Ghost of a Good Thing- Dashboard Confessional

I guess it's luck, but it's the same hard luck
You've been trying to tame
Maybe it's love but it's like you said...
Love is like a role that we play
But I believe in you so much
I could die for the words that you say

But you're chasing the ghost of a good thing
Haunting yourself,
As the real thing is getting away from you again
while you're chasing ghosts

Just bend the pieces 'till they fit
Like they were made for it
But they weren't made for this
No, they weren't made for this----

I don't know why but I felt like posting it. Good song. I like it. Anyways, my day was kick ass. I had a great day. Ooo. We got yearbooks. That was cool. Heh heh. Aww, the last day is nearing. It's so tragic. I'm going to miss everyone. It can't be over. Not yet. It seems like we just started. I remember in the beginning of the year I was DESPERATE for the end of school. But then...things sort of changed. It got better. There were a million bad days...but that just made the good days really, really good. Ahhhhh. I'm sad.

Love always,
Ari

Jolly Rancher Kind of Day..

2004-06-13T20:45:00.000-04:00

I'm sure the title makes no sense, but I did get a bag of Jolly Ranchers today. They had the blue ones in 'em. Heh.

Well, my day was interesting. My mom, sister and I went out to eat and then we went to Barnes and Noble. I got a Chicken Soup book. And my sister got an Anorexia/Bulimic book. Figures. She's on the verge of anorexia. I know it. I've read the emails, read the journal. She's destroying our already dysfunctional family. Gah.

So yeah that was it, pretty much. 5 more days of school.

I hope we get our yearbooks tomorrow. *looks hopeful*

-Ari

Chasin' the ghosts of a good thing...

2004-06-12T15:58:00.000-04:00

^ That's a good song, just to let you all know. Anyways, hello. Hi, welcome, hola, aloha! Yeah. :)

Okay, let me tell you about my oh so wonderous weekend! Or...well...Friday and today. Well, Friday was actually a pretty good day for the most part. Just me being a jealous bitch, like always. Mm hmm. Anyway, after school was the Spring Fling. That was pretty cool. Not as fun as I had imagined, but I was satisfied. I got lots of pictures...had fun...all was good. Ooo! I won a shirt at the raffle thing. lol. Oh yeah, go me. After that I went home with Carly. The whole point of that was to plan her party, but uh..we kind of got sidetracked? We sat around in our pajamas and watched Degrassi [Which, by the way, I have not seen in MONTHS] and then we watched Darkness Falls. I swear the scariest part was when the cat jumped across the car. lol. Woo. I'm odd. Hmm...then today her familia and I went to breakfast...then we went to test matresses! haha. That was interesting. Umm yes. Then we went back to her house and played the SIMS. Lmfao. Sawyderson. Hahahaha. That was great. Really great. After that, then I came home. Taylor's party is today. But I'm not going. Eh, oh well. Lalalala so now I'm here, tired and bored.

Only 5 more days of school left. Wow. I'm happy, but really sad at the same time. I don't want to go to high school, I don't want to leave all the friends I've made this year, I don't want to go to the ghetto whore bitch school, I don't want to leave yet. I'm not ready. This year's been like..the best of my 3 middle school years. I swear on the last day, I'm doing a reflections page on this blog. Heh, confused? Yeah, well...you'll just have to wait and see. So yeah, I'm kind of upset. The only people I know [and are glad] that are going to my school are Lindsay and Carly. That's it. :(

I'm sad. Save me?

~Ari

Uneventful Day

2004-06-08T16:30:00.000-04:00

My day was seriously boring. Nothing that interesting happened at all. I will say this, though: Math is the weirdest class that I have. I felt very violated today. *oo la la* haha. Nah, it's okay. Really. *wink* Yeah, if you have no idea what I'm talking about...then that's okay...

Um, yeah anyways. I feel really weird. Like...I feel sad, but then I feel kind of happy. I'm confused. Ooo. Carly's party is gonna be great. :) Plus, I get to help with the guest list, so that means I have SOME say. Even though Carly might not let "sunchips" come. Loser. She's all ''he gets booted if we go over 15 people''. I'm like what the hell?! That's not cool. AND SUNCHIPS IS WAAAY HOTTER! *cough jessica, carly, ellie cough* You stupid, blind, blind fools!!! lol it's okay, I'll find some way to forgive you all. *evil death glares* Maybe.

I'm tired. I'm going to go...um do something. Write, most likely. Byebye.
-Ari

Boredom...

2004-06-06T16:04:00.000-04:00

I'm so incredibly bored right now. There's a million things I should be doing, but I'm lazy. I really have nothing interesting to say, since, well I didn't do anything at all today. Heh, I've wasted my life.

Ahhhh two weeks of school left. I'm sad. Very, very sad. I don't want to go to Stonewall with the druggies and whores. Saveee meeee!!!!!
Adios,
-Ari

New Journal...

2004-06-05T15:56:00.001-04:00

Yep, here I am again with new online journal. But, hey, my LJ lasted the longest. I dunno, I get bored with online journals. Plus it's fun making new ones, I guess? Oh well. I'm keeping the link to my LJ, but I've decided that blogger is easier and just..better. lol.

Okay so anyways... my weekend has been pretty cool. Friday was kind of a blah day for me. But I went to Jessica's house after school which was cool, even if her and Bradley DID trick me and make me walk a billion miles to get to her house. *you all are EVIL!* lol. But anyways, yeah, then we went to see a movie with the love of her life. We saw The Day After Tomorrow, which was really good. Kind of creepy, but really good.

Then... today I came home...and here I am. Hi. The past week has been pretty crappy...which sucks, but hey, I've definitely learned from my mistakes. Of course, I'm not going to get into deep detail because...well...I'm just not. If you really care that much you can ask...[or you probably already know]..but I don't trust the random freaks that might actually read this. lol. Oh well.

Well, I'm gonna go. Adios, my friends.

-Ari

[Oh, by the way, Jessica, if you're reading this I LOVE YOU TOO! And I will never, ever forget you in high school if I don't go to your school. That is, if you don't forget me. Nah, it'd be too hard to forget you...you've done so much for me and if you ask me, I don't think you deserve me as a friend. <3 ya anyways. -Ari]